I’m heading outside because I hear weird noises from the driveway. „Grrrmaneta, are you okay? Is something wrong with your battery? Did you leave your lights on all night?“ – „FRRRRRZZZZZZ …“ – „Excuse me, why are your mudguards red? You are painted white.“ – „HHHNNNNHHHH …“ – „And are you leaking something? Is that … no, it’s not AdBlue, no engine coolant, no oil … is that saliva???“ – „NNNNUUUHHHHHAAAAA …“ – „Grrrmaneta, did you do something stupid?“
She looks at me. With a very suspicious cheeky smile. She looks at the phone in my hand. „Grrrmaneta, did you hack my phone via our car connection app???“ The smile broadens. „Do you have no shame? I would have expected something like this from a Tesla or a BMW, but not from a Volkswagen Nutzfahrzeug!“ – „ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I CONFESS! BUT CAN YOU BLAME ME? HAVE YOU SEEN HIM???“ – „Have I seen … what are you talking about?“ – „THE TRUCK! THEIR TRUCK! HE’S SO STRONG AND HE’S SO BIG, HE COULD CARRY ME! MAYBE HE WILL TAKE ME AROUND EUROPE WITH HIM …“ Oh God, now I know what this is all about: „You mean the Arde Bogotá tour truck? Do you have a crush on him?“ The mudguards turn an deeper shade of red. „EUROPE … SUN … SPAIN … I WON’T EVER NEED ADBLUE AGAIN, IT TASTES LIKE PI** … NO MORE WINDOW DEFROSTING AT -17°C IN WINTER … I COULD WEAR A GLITTERY WINDSCREEN COVER AS SUN PROTECTION THE WHOLE YEAR … DIESEL COSTS 1,33 € …“ Okay, with the last one she has a valid point …
„But Grrrmaneta, do you really think this would work? I need you here, we already have the tickets for Berlin and promised to take people with us. Plus, who should drive you through Europe? We have our things here and I am pretty sure your crush has to carry a lot of equipment. He’s working and not driving around for fun. He can’t carry you all the time.“ But she isn’t listening anymore, she scrolled to a video and is singing along.
„DAME MÁS GASOLINA …“ – „Grrrmaneta, you have a Diesel engine.“ – „ME ENCANTA LA GASOLINA …“ – „GRRRMANETA!“ – „MÖÖP.“ – I am sighing. „How about we create your own Insta account? So we can share some more pictures of you and you can say hello to him?“ – „ALREADY DONE.“ Suddenly I remember an e-mail I had earlier, but I thought it was spam. I have to uninstall this app, I was always wondering what it means to give the car certain authorisations … And now she has her own social media account. I can’t believe it.
But Grrrmaneta is glowing, and dancing around in the driveway. „Okay then, but professional fangirling only! No running away with any trucks or sports cars or anyone! Promise me?!“ – „DEAL!“